He's not going to pretend that being more comfortable with Natasha now than before makes any real sort of sense at all. His subconscious has its own opinions on things and arguing with it never gets him anywhere. He's seen her file - after all, when hacking into exceptionally classified SHIELD data anyway it only seemed reasonable to take a look at the other interesting bits while he was in there - and it's one hell of a read.
Of course he knows better than to assume it's complete, or accurate. His own file is a tissue of complete lies in places. But there was enough there to make him really curious about the bits that have to have been omitted.
There's a huff of breath that's something close to a laugh and he grins at her. "Oh yeah. It was a lovely spot. All the sand you could eat, hot and cold running rats..." Hey, at least he's not the only one way more at ease than is in any way sensible right now.
He feels that little twitch of her hand and his own fingers tense almost imperceptibly in response. "I built it," he responds, and for all that this is an awful set of memories to recall, there's a note of fierce pride in his voice. There are plenty of things in his past he's not proud of, but goddamnit, if he's proud of anything he's proud of this. Of the reactor, of the fact that it all came together in his head in a cave in Afghanistan when he was facing blackmail or death and in so much pain he could barely think straight.
Steve asked him, once, what he was without the armor. It was a question aimed to hurt, to strike at the fact that his strength in the field is entirely artificial. It was also completely missing the point. So maybe he doesn't have the raw brute strength Steve and Thor and the Hulk do, or the decades of training Clint and Natasha do. But although he might be vulnerable out of the armor, he's never been weak; when backed into a corner he will change the world to fight back if that's what it takes.
It's his mind that makes him dangerous. Why would he ever be ashamed of wearing the armor to fight when it's his design every step of the way, his hands that built it, with tech that was supposed to be impossible lying at its very heart?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-06-16 08:08 pm (UTC)Of course he knows better than to assume it's complete, or accurate. His own file is a tissue of complete lies in places. But there was enough there to make him really curious about the bits that have to have been omitted.
There's a huff of breath that's something close to a laugh and he grins at her. "Oh yeah. It was a lovely spot. All the sand you could eat, hot and cold running rats..." Hey, at least he's not the only one way more at ease than is in any way sensible right now.
He feels that little twitch of her hand and his own fingers tense almost imperceptibly in response. "I built it," he responds, and for all that this is an awful set of memories to recall, there's a note of fierce pride in his voice. There are plenty of things in his past he's not proud of, but goddamnit, if he's proud of anything he's proud of this. Of the reactor, of the fact that it all came together in his head in a cave in Afghanistan when he was facing blackmail or death and in so much pain he could barely think straight.
Steve asked him, once, what he was without the armor. It was a question aimed to hurt, to strike at the fact that his strength in the field is entirely artificial. It was also completely missing the point. So maybe he doesn't have the raw brute strength Steve and Thor and the Hulk do, or the decades of training Clint and Natasha do. But although he might be vulnerable out of the armor, he's never been weak; when backed into a corner he will change the world to fight back if that's what it takes.
It's his mind that makes him dangerous. Why would he ever be ashamed of wearing the armor to fight when it's his design every step of the way, his hands that built it, with tech that was supposed to be impossible lying at its very heart?